![]() Go watch past food ads starring female celebrities, including everyone from Kate Upton to Paris Hilton. She’d just be like, “Bitches, can we go to Burger King already?” I’m pretty sure she is not going to stiletto-step into an R&D lab for hours a day, sticking out her tongue as Beyond Meat alchemists dab it with pea protein, dried yeast, methylcellulose and sunflower lecithin: “Kim, how does that taste? Should we boost the apple extract, neutralize the potassium chloride or amplify the expeller-pressed canola oil?” What’s not clear is how having Kardashian as the new “Chief Taste Consultant” might reverse corporate malaise. As the Wall Street Journal reported this week, shares are down 78 per cent in the past year. “So good,” she lies, before fake chewing fake chicken tenders.īeyond Meat is a struggling company. She sniffs a plate of waffles and fake sausage, making it seem like this is the most divine smell she has ever smelled and the most delicious food she would never, ever put in her taut belly under no circumstance. She tucks into more fake meat without ever digesting. She holds a nacho chip over her top lip for no apparent reason while shooting a selfie. She then squeezes an invisible lime into a fake beef taco. If it were a medical PSA, she’d be extolling the virtues of monkeypox. If this were a car ad, Kardashian would be slashing tires as the director gasps. She just hoists it up like it’s an azalea plucked from the weeds. That fake meatball remains two area codes away from her lips. Next, Kardashian forks a fake meatball and holds it up while staring with bedroom eyes. It’s like watching a mime trapped in an invisible box. It’s visually jarring because the fake burger has no teeth marks. She throws back her head and fake chomps with fake orgasmic satisfaction: Mmmmmm! But if Beyond Meat is “amazingly delicious,” shouldn’t she at least swallow one bite on camera? Seven seconds in, she is shown holding a perfectly sliced fake half burger. Kardashian, who has private planes and a fleet of supercars, is worried about the planet? Kardashian, whose ecological footprint exceeds the entire population of Venezuela, is suddenly an environmentalist?įine. This plant-based meat is not only amazingly delicious, but it’s also better for you and better for the planet.” “I believe so much in the mission of Beyond Meat that I’ve stepped in to help with my greatest asset - my taste. ![]() The 28-second spot starts with Kardashian - a sultry apparition in platinum-dyed hair, sleeveless black turtleneck and enough makeup and facial shades to baffle Crayola scientists - drumming the endorsement: Maybe Kim, who routinely Photoshops her social media images, is now a natural ambassador for fake. She could turn your goldfish into sushi.īut maybe those days are over. ![]() I would not be surprised if she keeps a stash of beef jerky in her Egyptian silk pillowcase. She has pimped for Carl’s Jr., which is to veganism as The Brick is to Roman Antiquities. Kardashian has gobbled more Meat Lover’s pizza than Domino’s Noid. Then she’d sauté my liver.Īnd turn my kidneys into a bouillabaisse until the rescue ship arrives. If she were forced to choose between palm fronds and cannibalism, my pecs or glutes are getting devoured, no question. Kardashian because I know she would not hesitate to eat me. I would never want to be trapped on a deserted island with Ms. Kim Kardashian is the new "Chief Taste Consultant" for Beyond Meat and in her new ad she does not appear to taste the products. Do a Google Image search and you’ll find countless images of Kim stuffing her face with empty calories that are not plant-based. ![]() The tabloids recently caught Kim and beau Pete Davidson hitting up an In-N-Out. The company, which simulates burgers, sausages and other carnivore delights with plant-based substitutes, hired Kim Kardashian as its new “Chief Taste Consultant.” This is a risky move given her past testimonials for ribs, cheeseburgers and McGriddles. ![]() When it comes to food ads and celebrity endorsements, there is only one hard rule: the celebrity should be seen eating the food.īeyond Meat just violated this rule. This article was published (392 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current. Free Press 101: How we practise journalism. ![]()
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